Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
