my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
