last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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