Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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