i need an iv and a liver transplant
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
