Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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