I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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