I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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