The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
