too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
