Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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