dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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