Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
