i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
