Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
