WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
As shirtless as possible
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
