i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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