I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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