remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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