PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize