Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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