the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
