I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
