she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
there is glitter all over my balls
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
