it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
