I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
