I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
