people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
