Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
