I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
