New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
