I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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