He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
