Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
