In America we eat man semen.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
