Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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