I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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