someone threw a dead crab at me
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
