Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The Olympian is in my bed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
