STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
