Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
