if only i could text you this smell
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
