last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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