I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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