why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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