So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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