Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
