he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
