Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
