I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
