just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
