smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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