what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
