So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
40s are totally the cure
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
