if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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