he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
