Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize