Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
