My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
