I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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