Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the day after is always just damage control
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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