I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
