Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
