Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
