Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
