dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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