Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
