Im at strip club and am horny
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
why is half of my head shaved?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
