wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
