They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
