Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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